Selling a house with my husband...

After yesterday's drama filled post (thank you for reading if you did), I thought I would do something funny today but still related to the situation. I almost don't want to post all of these tidbits yet, because some more still might happen before this is all said and done, but oh well I will anyway.

 

One thing you need to know about my husband : he is very into the look of our home.

 

Sometimes a little too much.

 

I will tell you when this is awesome - when he casually says, "Let's go to Pier One!"

 

I will tell you when it is not awesome - when you have one vision for something and he has another. (Rugs and window treatments seem to be our biggest arguments. Oh, and peacocks.)

 

 Or your idea of getting the house ready for a showing is way different than his.

 

His version creates MORE work than needed in my opinion.

 

Please know I am not ragging on him. He has been amazing through this whole process. Our entire marriage he has been willing to clean bathrooms, the kitchen, do laundry, etc.... and he knows how to fix just about anything. He has installed hot water heaters, water softeners, done drywall, tile work, woodwork, etc...

 

Now I do understand that staging a home is important, and you might have to spend a little money to do so. But after you see what I have for you here, I hope you will agree with me and have a little laugh.

 

Exhibit 1:

One day I walked into the kitchen as we were getting ready for a showing and saw.... this. I was like W.T.F??? I still laugh hysterically when I see this picture! And just for the record, I keep my bananas in a bunch. I don't understand how having them sticking out every which way makes them more fancy.

 Exhibit 2:

Show towels. I will never forget our fight in Bed, Bath & Beyond over show towels. He wanted to get them for both bathrooms, when I already had plain towels in the correct colors to put out. I like nice things, but towels with beads and sequins on them are just not practical for anything other than just looking at. I brought one of the brown ones downstairs so I could take this picture. So that was $100. I was hoping to keep the tags on them and return them once the house had sold, but now that it has been a year I don't think that will happen.

 Exhibit 3:

Since the last time our house was on the market was in the Winter, he wanted to "stage" the upper porch now that it is summer. I agreed to procuring an outdoor rug and fern, since we could use them at the new house. When he decided to put it all together though, I was already 2 hours into my drive to Wisconsin for the weekend when I get a text that he had locked himself out on the porch. And that he was going to have to jump down. I immediately called him - we didn't need an injury on top of everything else we were going through! I was too far away, no neighbors were out, and his friends weren't due to come over until later. He did end up jumping down and is fine.

 Exhibit 4:

See our faded red umbrella in this picture? He actually suggested I get some Rit dye to restore it to it's original grandeur. Ummmm, no. Just no.

 Exhibit 5:

He bought a $70 fountain for the pool. We've lived for 12 years without a fountain, so I don't understand the need for it to sell the house. This is the first time I have tried posting a video so I hope it works. At least Richard is getting some joy out of it for a little while.

Exhibit 6:

I don't have a picture for this, but candles. He lights candles all over the house.... all in different scents. I keep trying to explain to him that they have to match or at least be in the same smell family (or not be scented), or else it is a sensory overload! No one needs that kind of assault on their nose! That it will have the opposite effect of what you are trying to create.

 

Hey, if you need any decorating or staging done at your house, I would be happen to send Jon your way! Someone please tell me this is all a big joke that is being played on me......